


The Right Thing

by LadyHorizon94



Series: (Not) Mine [4]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Angst, Arial - Freeform, Dadster, Grillby/Sans - Freeform, Jealousy, Love Triangles, M/M, OC, Omppuisapple... I see u have fled to holland to escape my fics, Papyrus/Sans - Freeform, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PreYandere!Uspap (he's not yet fully yandere but he's getting the hang of it >8) ), RG!Gaster, Self-Hatred, Skelemom - Freeform, TRIGGER WARNING: TALK ABOUT RAPE AND ABUSE UNHEALTHY AND POSSESSIVE THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIOR, W.D.Gaster - Freeform, WARNING I ALMOST FORGOT: MENTIONS OF INCEST, kinda horror, underswap - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-12 05:59:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7923277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyHorizon94/pseuds/LadyHorizon94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Papyrus found it. Now... What to do with it? </p><p>	What he should do – what is the right thing to do – is to call Undyne right now and tell her he found it and then return it... </p><p>	But - </p><p>       Underswap and Underfell AU CHECK THE WARNINGS AT THE TAGS</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let us continue this ride! This is Papyrus's thoughts and feelings after I'm (nothing) like you. :) And this is going to be two-shot. I have no idea when the last chapter comes out... Normally, i would first write the fic through and then post it but it's been a while and I wanted to post something :) 
> 
> PLEASE CHECK THE TAGS FOR WARNINGS AND PLEASE NOTICE THAT THIS IS FOR MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY

The snow flashes through Papyrus’s eyes and even after days it seems too bright and blinding. He can still almost see dust on the snow, dirty and sad version of his village haunting him in the back of his mind and the events still replaying over and over in his memory… 

 

 _…What the_ _fuck do_ _**you**_ _know?!..._

 

_…You’re just like me!..._

 

_…Do you think even the worst person can change?..._

 

There are moments when he feels he’s going insane. Mainly because nothing has changed. Red still avoids him, the muffled sobs can be still heard through the door. The haunting thoughts have gotten worse… 

 

Papyrus chuckles darkly as he speeds up, snow crunching sharply under his feet. What did he expect?! Of course nothing would change! No one knows what he had done after all… There is no way of Red knowing how far he had gone to protect him.

 

…How  **f a r** the skeleton is willing to go. 

 

Papyrus understands though. He gets why the small skeleton would avoid him after that outburst and he cringes. Why didn’t he contain himself better? He should have acted more casual.

 

The worst part is though… That this little outburst wasn’t only reason – heck, perhaps not even the main reason for Red to just close himself in his and Blue’s room…

 

It’s the lie that has chased him there. After hearing that there was no way of returning, something has diminished in Red’s eyes.

 

No, even that’s not quite it. Papyrus grimaces feeling frustration and irritation. He knows he shouldn’t have started it. He shouldn’t have got his own emotions rampage and let his pitch black jealousy show.

 

_Papyrus stands in front of his little brother’s room staring blankly at the door. It has a blue sign which says “Welcome” with white, cursive letters. A ghost of a smile visits quickly on the tall skeleton’s face. Even as a teen Blue had never been difficult to handle. There were no secrets between the brothers. There has always been this welcoming, warm aura surrounding the small skeleton and his room… or anything related to the sweet Blueberry._

 

_…Is this why Papyrus doesn’t know how to handle Red? How to approach him and make him feel better?_

 

_Now the welcoming aura of the room has changed. Papyrus can almost sense the tension and cold fear. The sign could as well say: “Stay away.”_

 

_Red has been… different lately. Papyrus doesn’t know if it’s good or bad but he suspect the latter. Ever since the lie had slithered from his mouth, Red has been more on edge, more angry. But… it’s frosted with hopelessness and apathy. The desperation of someone who is_ _**S T U C K** _

 

_…Grillby means much more to Red than Papyrus had thought._ _**Goddamnit.** _

 

_Papyrus knows Red is never going to be healed completely. He knows the mental scars are just too deep. But… The mocking image of the bartender and Red_ _**together** _ _is just too tormenting._

 

_**Stop. Don’t go there.** _ _He would only drive himself to insanity at this rate. What Red needs is time and patience. He would just check on the otherone quickly and then leave._

 

_…Why Blue has to be at Alphys’ place today? The small skeleton is so good at handling his counterpart._

 

_Then again… This is his chance. He can apologize for his behavior, make a few puns to get_ ~~ _his_ ~~ _Red smile, even as a little bit._

 

_Papyrus lifts his hand to knock only to freeze with hesitation._

 

_**Do you have any right to do this?** _ _Logical (annoying) part of his brain is commenting._

 

**Of course I have.**

 

_**You hurt his brother and didn’t tell him. He’s probably dead right now. Technically, you killed him.** _

 

**The bastard deserved it.**

 

_**Maybe, but you lied to him. About the universes.** _

 

**I had to. He would have gone there. He would have died.**

 

_**You don’t know that. He has survived this long. Clearly he’s not weak. Besides, he said it himself: He wouldn’t have stayed there permanently.** _

 

**Still… I just can’t let him back there. Not alone. Not after what I’ve seen.**

 

_**Then go with him.** _

 

**No.**

 

_**…Are you doing this for him? Or for your own sake? So he wouldn’t run into the wrong arms?** _

 

_Papyrus grits his teeth. He hates this. He’s not the purest person, he knows it. But he’s not a sick monster. He’s_ _**N O T** _ _Fell._

 

_He does this to protect._

 

_Determined, the skeleton knocks on the door, conjuring a small smile on his face trying to look softer. Trying to look less like Fell._

 

_“…What?” Muffled voice echoes through the wood. Red sounds always a bit negative and aggressive so it’s hard to make anything of the tone._

 

_“It’s me… Papyrus. May I come in?” He asks carefully, with quiet tone._

 

_Silence. It just stretches and stretches feeling like a small eternity though it’s only for a few minutes. Still, it’s enough forPapyrus almost turn away thinking the other one doesn’t want to see him._

 

_“…Fine…”_

 

_Papyrus exhales and opens the door. Red sits on the mattress a book on his hand. It’s probably one of the taller skeleton’s science books Red has borrowed. For some reason it warms Papyrus a bit._

 

_Red doesn’t look at him. The small skeleton keeps his eye sockets tightly on those white pages, not lifting his gaze. Papyrus can see his grip squeezing the book._

 

_The small skeleton is clearly uncomfortable and as always, it saddens Papyrus. For a moment they don’t move being lost in awkward silence that surrounds them._

 

_Finally, Papyrus sits down the floor, getting to the same level as Red not wanting to frighten him and make the smaller one feeling threatened. He doesn’t close the door._

 

_“Hi…” Papyrus starts not having anything better to start with. He tries to figure out some nice pun to break the ice with, but for once, there’s nothing._

 

_“The dinner’s ready or something?” Red asks flatly, still not looking at Papyrus._

 

“ _No… I mean… Blue’s not even here yet,” the taller one mutters. He’s pleading inside his head Red to just look at him… “Look… I’m here to say… I’m sorry…”_

 

_That gets Red’s attention. His head twitched upwards and finally those two rubies are staring Papyrus as he feels his soul tighten just from seeing the sole beauty of them. “For… what?” The smaller skeleton sounds confused like no one has ever apologized him before… Maybe that’s the sad case here._

 

“ _For… Lashing out on you like that. I was just worried. I understand it’s your home and the person you speak of is… Important,” Papyrus congratulates himself inside his head. He managed to hold the bitterness in while saying the last word – just and just. “But… Honesty… I think it’s a good thing. You, staying here.”_

 

_Red stares at him long and hard. It makes Papyrus antsy especially since he can’t read that expression. But at least Red is_ _**looking at him.** _

 

“ _There’s… really no way back?” Can there be such a hope and desperation in one’s voice at the same time?_

 

_Everything inside Papyrus’ soul feels tight. He feels so bare under that gaze and the tall skeleton knows that this is it:_

 

_He can either continue to lie. Continue to keep Red from the death and hellish world (_ ~~ _From the person he loves.)_ ~~

 

_Or… He can take his little lie back. Be honest. Act the way he had always said Blue should act…_

 

“ _No, there isn’t.” The lie rolls from his mouth heavy and irreversible. Papyrus can hear how tight his words sound. He curses internally trying to soften his posture. It’s just hard when something feels… off._

 

_Papyrus should feel guilty… He should take it back._

 

_**This is for Red’s own good.** _

 

_Red is silent. But surprisingly he doesn’t all that crushed or sad. Actually, his eye-sockets are narrowed thoughtfully and Papyrus can practically see the gears turn inside the smaller one’s head._

 

_Honestly… That expression looks cute on him._

 

“… _The machine…” Red mutters hope creeping back to his voice. Papyrus doesn’t like it. (_ ~~ _ **That damn hope again. There’s never hope when he looks at -)**_~~

 

“ _What of it?” Papyrus asks, pretending to sound like he doesn’t care. Like he isn’t guessing what’s coming next…_

 

… _Though he knows. And it makes him want to shake Red. Try to make him_ _ **understand.**_

 

“ _I can try to fix it. I managed to do it once, why not twice?” Red stands up. Papyrus feels headache approaching._

 

“ _Red…_ _ **Sans**_ _,” He sighs like a parent to a child. What more could he possible offer to Red? What more is he_ _ **willing**_ _to offer to this broken skeleton so he wouldn’t run off?_

 

_So much… He’s willing to offer_ _**so much** _ _and the painfully ironic part is, Red wants none of it. Because he’s the_ _**wrong person.** _

 

_Darkly, Papyrus wonders would Red like him better if he lighted himself on fire…_

 

“ _It could work right?” Red looks down at Papyrus and for once he stares the taller one right in the eyes. “Fuck, I never know unless I try.”_

 

_Papyrus lights his cigarette and inhales before blowing the smoke out. Blue has strictly forbidden him to smoke indoors but he needs it. He feels tired, his head hurt and –_

 

_**-He feels so defeated.** _

 

_Another important thing is slipping away from him. Not that he had any chance in the first place. (_ ~~ _Red doesn’t even WANT him in the first place)_ ~~

 

_…If that’s the case then he should just let Red go…_

 

_Somehow on the verge of giving up, those black thoughts rise up again._ _**Coward,** _ _they whisper._ _**You don’t even know if the fire idiot is alive. You’re going to let him go just like that? It’s hell. You know it. He knows it.** _

 

_These aren’t healthy thoughts. He should stop before –_

 

_“Red… I’m sorry, but it won’t work…” The lie gets easier and easier to repeat it seems. Papyrus wants to feel guilty, wants to take it all back, but blackness suffocates any selfless thoughts he has._

 

_Wait… He isn’t selfish._ _**This is for his own good…** _

 

_“How the fuck do you know that?” Red asks frustration and anger covering his sadness and fears. The small skeleton folds his arms challenging Papyrus with his stare._

 

_The taller one too, starts to get really irritated to this. It’s like dealing with a spoiled brat. How many times does he has to repeat himself? Maybe if he would just kiss Red –_

 

_Of course he can’t do that. Even though the temptation is always_ _**there.** _ _Waiting. If he would let himself slip…_

 

_But right now, it almost doesn’t matter. Papyrus stands up, towering his guest easily slowly taking steps towards Red._

 

_The other one tries to make himself look taller, more threatening. But then he seems to realize that_ _**This is Papyrus.** _ _Not his Papyrus but a Papyrus nonetheless. It makes him shrink a bit and back of with a hint of fear in his gaze._

 

_Red wants to run away from him again. Seriously, how can this small ball of anxiety go back there? “Red,” He says firmly. “Me and Undyne have tried everything._ _**EVERYTHING.** _ _I’m sorry, but there’s no way for you to return.”_

 

_Papyrus softens his posture. The skeleton lifts his hand to touch Red’s shoulder but the other one flinches. Something ugly and cold stabs Papyrus and he doesn’t want to even inspect the feeling closer. Instead, he lets his hand fall on the side. “I know it’s hard… But you can stay here as long as you want… There might not be the person you… The person important to you, but you’re_ _**safe.** _ _No one can hurt you and no one_ _**will.** _ _” The male keeps his voice calm letting the words roll out from his mouth surely and heavy with warmth. In his mind, Papyrus hopes that even though this Sans can’t be genuinely happy for a long time, he would at least see the reason._

 

_Red doesn’t look Papyrus anymore. He stares at the floor, face full of exhaustion and grief. “You don’t get it… I – I own him…”_

 

_Papyrus cringes and he hates that soft tone. It has gentleness in it._ _**Gratitude** _ _in it. (_ ~~ _**Why him and not me?)** _ ~~

 

_“Wow, this guy really is important to you? You guys lovers or something?” The question sounds innocent and compassionate. Papyrus is a good liar. He has mastered to hide even the most rotten feelings, even the deepest and darkest moments. He had to. For Blue. And now, for Red._

 

_Papyrus sees the red magic dust Red’s cheeks and his soul is screaming while Red is slipping further away from him._ _**Deny it… Deny it like you did on the other day…** _ _At least it would make all of this easier._

 

_“…Not exactly… I…I mean… I don’t really know..?” Red is squirming, avoiding the other one’s gaze._

 

_Papyrus tastes something bitter in his mouth. “You don’t… know?” This time, he can’t fully keep the coldness out of his voice. But Red doesn’t even notice. He mumbles something, burying himself inside his hoodie._

 

_The taller would raise his eyebrows if he had any._ _“Um… Red… What was that…?”_

 

_”…He told me he loves me…”_

 

_**Love…** _ _Papyrus's mind goes completely blank for a second as the word echoes cruelly inside his head. Luckily, Red isn't looking at his face. Magic sparks alive in his eye for a slip second._ _**Shit.** _ _He should leave now. He’s on the edge. The jealousy is smothering and choking him._

 

_**You idiot, you knew this from the start. Red is too traumatized to be with you in the first place. What did you expect?** _

 

_…He should be happy… He should be glad. Red is showing him some trust. In fact, the amount of time the smaller skeleton has been able to be in the same room with Papyrus alone is impressive._

 

_…But how can he be happy with what he has just heard?_

 

_Maybe, there’s a catch. Maybe the flame man has lied to Red. He could have lead the other on for his own benefit. Like Fell did._

 

_“Red…” Papyrus starts carefully. “…Didn’t Fell… also…”_

 

_Red’s body tenses immediately and there’s a momentary horror in his face before it turns to disgust and then to determination when he realizes just what the other one is suggesting. He shakes his head. “_ _**No.** _ _”_

 

_“Red – “_

 

_“Grillby is not like that! He would never – “_

 

_“Enlighten me then,” Papyrus whispers his voice ringing deceptively calm in that small room. It seems almost ridiculous to have conversation this serious in the childish, neat warm room. The blue race car bed looks too cheerful and the action figures have been put into ridiculously happy and lively poses. The clock is ticking on, the noise filling the silence between them._

 

_“…You… You don’t get it – “_

 

_“I may not get everything,” Papyrus cuts Red off. “But what I_ _**DO** _ _get he wasn’t there when you needed him. He wasn’t there when Fell beat you up. He didn’t prevent Fell from_ _**raping – “** _

 

_**“S T O P I T,”** _ _The smaller one’s eye is blazing and Papyrus can see so many emotion – none of them good or positive – radiating from Red. Rage, sorrow, desperation, fear, agony._

 

_This time, guilt catches him. It’s like someone suddenly pours ice cold water on him. His black, slimy thoughts slither away, escaping back behind the wall that both protects and imprison them. It leaves his mind blank and white for a moment before he realizes all he has said._

 

_At that moment, Papyrus truly_ _**HATES** _ _himself. “Red – “ He starts wanting so badly to make it all right. To take it all back… (_ _**Where’s a reset when you need one?)** _

 

_“You want some fucking enlightenment?!” The smaller chuckles nearly hysterically without_ _a_ _smallest ray of joy. “_ _**FINE!** _ _He noticed something was wrong even though I tried to keep him out of it. At. Every. Fucking. Reset. He_ _**fought** _ _Papyrus multiple times always failing, always dying – “ Red’s voice trembles at this point and he inhales heavily. “He_ _**never** _ _used me. He never belittled me. He didn’t give a_ _**SHIT** _ _about my HP! He never even looked at me wrongly!_ _I… I watched him die… Reset after Reset…_ _**And it was all my fault!** _ _And… when he said he loved me I got scared… That he would not give up on me… That he would just keep dying…” the magic in Red’s eye flickers. “The fucking worst part?! I don’t know if he’s alright! If he’s alive or hurting!_ _**He should be here in the safety instead of me!”** _

 

 

_Red is out of breath and his challenging gaze doesn’t let Papyrus escape. The taller skeleton is at loss of words. And.. There’s so much regret inside him._

 

_Papyrus feels disgusting. He never should have brought Grillby up… He has only driven Red further away –_

 

_**You always wanted him to open up…** _ _a mocking voice says inside his head. It_

_s true, Papyrus can’t really deny it. He just never wanted it like_ _**this.** _

 

_”Red – ”_

 

_”Out,” The other one only mutters, his shoulders collapsing. ”Just… Fucking leave.”_

 

And Papyrus had done exactly that. Left. He understood he had overstepped his boundaries, overstepped them a big time. It was only afterwards, at the safety of his room when he realized, he hadn’t told Red anything… It would have been so easy to wipe all that pain and uncertainty haunting the smaller skeleton...

 

Too bad Papyrus had been too much of a coward to do that.

 

Things are awkward between them, of course they are. Red is regretting confessing all those feelings, let his brother’s counterpart see him so vunerable and bare. Papyrus is constantly fighting with his own demons and that’s much easier when Red – the constant temptetation – is not near. It’s also easier to forget his constant jealousy that whirls and swirls within him. (At his sickest moments, it makes him glad Grillby died so many times…)

Papyrus stops and curls his phalanges into fists. He wants to cut or punch something again. The male tries desperately understand what is in Grillby that he doesn’t have. He  _knows_ he doesn’t know everything what happened between those two. He  _knows_ they share a strong connection 

 

Connection that he doesn’t belong.

 

It feels  _unfair._ He can offer Red  _so much._ Papyrus can help, take care of the other – 

 

_You’re just like me!_

 

A cold shiver runs through him and he sighs, deep and raises his hands on his face. No, he needs stop think like this. This… This isn’t healthy. 

 

If he really loves Red, he should stop think about what  _he_ wants and focus on what Red  _needs._

 

_Then… your lie was justified wasn’t it?_ A voice whispers to him. Yes, anyone in Papyrus’ shoes would agree… Right? Red doesn’t need that cruel world, he doesn’t need fear for his life all day long. 

 

Besides… What if Grillby is not the best option for the small skeleton…? Yes, the guy is obviously attached to the flame man but he also has a sick Stockholm syndrome towards his brother…

 

So… It would be best for Red to stay where he is. (Where Papyrus can keep an eye on him.)

 

And maybe… In time Red would –

 

No, there he goes again. What’s  _wrong_ with him?! Red is technically his  _**little brother,** _ nearly exact copy of Blue at least… 

 

A creepy thought enters inside him. Does that mean… Would he want to do those things to  _his own brother?_

 

Breath gets stuck in somewhere inside his throat. Papyrus feels a gush of disgust inside him.

 

_Calm down,_ the skeleton tells himself. Papyrus closes his eyes and tries to see Blue in his mind the same way he sees Red. He tries to memorize every curve of those bones, tries to test if he feels anything similar at all. 

 

It’s sick but at least it would offer him  _an explanation._ The reason why. 

 

Papyrus feels nothing. Nothing about Blue makes him feel those electric sparks and that nearly irresistible pull…

 

As soon as the thought popped up, the picture of Blue starts to change. The light blue battle body turns into a black hoodie and scars appear on the bones. The eyes turn into hypnotizing hue of red and there’s that shy, sad smile that used to decorate his face when he was interacting more.

 

The small skeleton is consuming his mind, drowning him. And it has nothing to do with Blue.

 

Papyrus starts to move again, quickly and not seeing anything. Why?! Why Red?!

 

Is it his puns he says carefully and quietly now and then? Or is it the understanding of resets?

 

Papyrus just  _doesn’t_ know. And the fact that everything between them is awkward and tense the sole reason being Papyrus and his looks is  _driving_ him insane. 

 

That’s why he’s here now. Papyrus just can’t pretend that everything is alright… He can’t pretend that this… burning  _want_ isn’t there. This place offers him peace, has always done so when the resets started. 

 

The kind man behind the door is always willing to listen, always willing to help and exchange jokes. Papyrus always leaves soul much lighter than before.

 

The skeleton just hopes it works this time too.

 

Papyrus stops when he’s there. The giant, purple door is such a comforting sight and he feels his stress going away for a moment. Relieved smile makes its’ way on his face as he lifts his hand and runs his phalanges through the smooth surface.

 

The man might not be there but honestly that is fine too. At least he could have a little break. Papyrus sighs again. Today is harder than normally…

 

The skeleton pulls himself together and knocks. “Knock knock,” he says softly, voice more tired than usual, but he doesn’t care. With this man, he doesn’t have to pretend.

 

“Who's there?” low, pleasant voice asks on the other side for Papyrus' delight. The taller skeleton doesn't know the reason, but the man always sounds a bit sad and lonely.

 

_I guess, that makes two of us,_ the skeleton wonders. “Nana,” He says then. 

 

A soft chuckle. “Nana who?”

 

“None of your business!” Papyrus answers and smirks while he hears a snort.

 

The time flies while they exchange jokes and laugh together. For a blissful moment Papyrus feels free from his emotions. Free from jealousy, anger, bitterness and from the bad memories. For a moment, he's just a simple man, enjoying the company of a friend.

 

But little by little the feelings start to blossom underneath, they catch him as Papyrus starts to darkly ponder, if this kind person would laugh so carefree with him if he knew what he had done. (...What would Blue think? Or Muffet?)

 

Papyrus tries to keep the thoughts out of the moment. He doesn't want them to ruin this. He wants  **peace.** He needs a  _break._

 

The male is a good actor. He can fool anyone into thinking that he's fine. It's a price he must pay to keep his little brother – and anyone he cares about – happy. (It really doesn't matter if he gets bitter time to time...) 

 

But today he just can't seem to pull himself together. The jokes aren't as funny as normally, his laughter doesn't echo as purely as before.

 

_Whatever,_ Papyrus thinks swallowing a scoff. If he can't make the thoughts go away, he simply has to be a man and endure it. The skeleton has endured entire hell, he can endure a bit more. 

 

“You're sense humor is wonderful as always, my friend,” The man behind the door says voice as warm as always. “But... Ah, excuse me if I overstep my boundaries, but... are you feeling quite alright? You sound a bit sad... Or am I boring you? We are going through a lot of the same jokes...”

 

'A bit sad' is an understatement of the year. Papyrus feels his soul twist. The male never meant to drag his special friend into his problems.

 

“Everything is fine,” Papyrus says firmly but trying to get his voice sound calm and sure. His not even certain, if the other one would understand. This person sounds someone pure and kind: That low voice always reminds the skeleton of large, stuffed and soft plushy which is meant to be hugged and squeezed.

 

How can someone like that see anything good in Papyrus if he told the sick thoughts? Or that he had practically  _killed_ someone? 

 

“You don't have to tell me,” the voice says sounding compassionate as always. “However, you have sounded like this for a while now and I would like to help you – even if it would be only lending an ear.

 

the skeleton is silent for a moment thinking and weighting his options. The other one sounds genuinely worried and apparently Papyrus' facade hadn't been good enough.

 

Maybe... it wouldn't hurt to tell the truth... or at least part of it.

 

“We... Have... a guest at the moment,” Papyrus starts sighing. Just thinking about Red makes his head ache but at the same time, his soul is consumed by intense wanting. “His mentally and physically abused... And it's  **bad.** I can't get close to him. I kinda remind him of his abuser so... I trigger him easily...” Papyrus let his voice die, unsure how to continue, unsure what to tell and how. 

 

“And this bothers you?” The voice encourages sounding still so patient and understanding. Papyrus' soul squeezes. Suddenly, he wants to leave so badly. He doesn't deserve this. Whoever is behind this door is a fucking  _angel_ or  _a saint_ or  _**both.** _

 

“Yeah... I just... I want to help him! I want to be beside him! But... I can't...” Papyrus curls into himself feeling helpless and useless. “And why should he? Besides... He got my brother to help him...”

 

“Maybe there are ways of helping him you haven't considered yet?” The gentle reassurance is nice but today it just feels so useless.

 

“I don't know... I have done something though... And I have no idea if it's horrible or not...” Papyrus takes the cigarette out of his mouth and looks at it as if it was something intriguing... (As if it would safe him from this hell)

 

“Oh?”

 

Papyrus sighs. “I... hurt the person who hurt him. I made him pay. I - “ The pictures of Fell's pierced body flashes through his eyes. The male can't say, it, just can't. For a second, the skeleton mistakes his hesitation with guilt and there's a small dose of relief. Maybe, he's not turning into a monster. Maybe, he's still a good person -

 

Then, he manages to register the feeling completely. It's not guilt, or regret...

 

He simply doesn't want to reveal it to anyone. Doesn't want anyone to know so his masks and pretense wouldn't fall off.

 

_...What is becoming of him?!_

 

“You did it to protect someone you cared about,” the man says finally. “You simply wanted ensure his safety. I know, sometimes hard choices has to be made. And... To my shame, I must admit I'm not as brave as you are. I took a coward's way out.” 

 

Brave?!  _Brave?!_ His friend has misunderstood badly, it's almost terrible hilarious.  _That's not it!_ It was not a hard choice to begin with and that's the problem. The choice was ridiculously easy to make. Especially when it was about Red. 

 

But Papyrus doesn't say anything. He  _can't._ It's best for everyone if he keeps...  **certain** things hidden. Safe and sound inside his soul. 

 

_It's best for everyone (Best for Red.)_

 

“...Maybe... But... It didn't help our guest the slightest... And... I lied to him about something. I –  _Shit.”_ All the pressure feels too much right now. “I'm not a bad person! I  _don't want_ to be a bad person!” He yells the last sentence out without thinking and he freezes, fearing for the other monster's reaction. 

 

But then again... He almost wishes that someone  _would_ call him out. To prevent him become... Something he doesn't want to become. 

 

“Listen to me,” the firm voice gets Papyrus' attention. “You're a kind monster. You are trying to help someone in need. You are not running away... not like... me...” The monster's voice is fading all of the monster's regrets and fears echoing from it.

 

The skeleton feels nearly dirty. It's terrible how his friend thinks, he is the coward when it's actually Papyrus. Through that, the tall male can feel his curiosity rise. He has never asked himself why the man is behind the door or what has driven him there. But it seems like a painful story and it's not his business really.

 

An awkward cough. “Anyway, as I was saying, it sounds like you really care for your guest and did it only to protect him. When we care about someone – when we live for someone – we're willing to go quite far with that. You may have flaws but that's how every singe person is. There's no escape from that.”

 

He doesn't get it. His loyal friend doesn't understand... And he never would. If Papyrus is to reveal his real thoughts and feelings, he would lose his best friend for good.

 

“Perhaps,” he mutters feeling heavy disappointment landing in his soul. He has been so sure that of all the monsters, this pun-loving monster would help him feel better.

 

( _The only thing which would make him feel better would be Red. To have him, willingly and loving. Without the fear of breaking the smaller one_ )

 

“I need to go now,” Papyrus says (lies.) The male stretches and wipes snow from his pants.

 

“Oh... Already?” The monster sounds so disappointed and it makes Papyrus feels a bit bad. But he is just too weak right now. He can't deal with the false praises muttered behind the door.

 

“Yeah,” He answers his voice sounding a bit more lighter than he actually felt.

 

“Take care then. I truly hope it all works in your benefit.”

 

 _Me too..._ Papyus thinks bitterly as he starts walking back slowly and reluctantly. He doesn't want to see Red. Or yes, he does want to see him. He wants to take care of the small skeleton, make him smile and make everything better for him.

 

But it's not possible for him. Blue is the one Red listens and let hug him and comfort him. It's actually rather logical. They _are_ the same person. Technically.

 

Oh great, now he's getting jealous of that. Though it's nothing compared to what he feels towards the bond between the fire man and Red...

 

Papyrus sighs again feeling hopeless and angry. He knows the right thing. He knows what he should do to make Red feel at least a notch better. To ease his agony and help him to recover.

 

It's the right thing to do. No matter what he tells himself, no matter how he lies to himself and try to think Grillby as the bad guy, he can't deny the bright look on Red's eye-sockets, his gentle smile decorated with sadness.

 

It's completely different from the confused hate and fear that consumes Red's face when they talk about Fell. He also sounds less aggressive and feverish. His voice flows then, low and pleasant.

 

When Red talks to Papyrus, the words are usually short and thick, slimy awkwardness is licking space between them. Papyrus _**H A T E S**_ it. But he tolerates those moments since during the lighter days, Red is full of clever and funny remarks and puns. His curiosity towards the things that the skeleton brother's take for granted is just... _enchanting._

 

Once, during the silent snow fall, Red had stared out of the window, looking at the snow eye-sockets wide and face full of wonder and – for once – peace.

 

 _“What are you staring at?”_ Blue had asked tilting his head to the side.

 

Red hadn't answered for a moment. Papyrus had stared at his thin phalanges resting on the windowsill. _“White...”_ Red skeleton had muttered like he had seen a sun. _“It's so... white...”_

 

Blue had giggled, amused. _“Of course it is, you silly. It's snow after all.”_

 

Red had turned his head sharp and fast, looking angry and a bit embarrassed. _“Well, where I come from, it_ _ **isn't...**_ _It's gray from all the monster dust...”_

 

This had been before Papyrus had visited the place. Back then it had sounded unbelievable. That beautiful, frosty area would be raped with monster remains. It had sounded almost unholy.

 

Shocked silence had landed on the kitchen. _“O-Oh my stars, Red. I'm so sorry. I didn't - “_

 

 _“ 'S okay,”_ Red had muttered sounding like he regretted lashing out like that. Papyrus had thought for a moment before taking couple, cautious steps closer. _“Hey, if you'd like we can go outside. I bet you have never played in snow before...”_

 

Red had looked so confused and disbelieving. _“Y...You would let me go outside... To have fun...? Just like that?”_ His voice had been so filled with doubt. It had been so obvious that the small skeleton had never really got the opportunity. Like it had been always been denied from him.

 

Papyrus had smiled encouragingly. _“Of course. But only if you want.”_

 

Red had thought for a moment. _“I'd... like that.”_

 

That had been one of those little better days. Back then, the thick blackness hadn't consumed Papyrus's mind so badly at the time... And he hadn't been aware all the worst things what had happened to Red...

 

The ringing phone in his pocket cuts his thought. Papyrus groans loudly, like a teenager. What _now?!_ He wants to be alone right now. _He needs it._ Most likely it's Blue, asking him, if he was doing his job or if he had remembered finally remove that sock, or if he had cleaned his room...

 

When he takes the phone out, his soul jump a little when he sees Undyne's name flashing on the screen. The male already knows what's the call is about... He recalls the doubtful, concerned expression and careful questions about Papyrus' intentions which she never got answer.

 

The skeleton really doesn't want to have this conversation... But he has to, at some point. Otherwise he would seem too suspicious.

 

“Hi, Undyne. How are you? Something... **fishy** going on?” Really, someone should give him reward for acting. Maybe he should try and apply to those silly Napstatton movies. At least he would make a better actor than that egoistical robot.

 

“O-oh! H-hi Papyrus... Um... I was just wondering... er... the thing is...”

 

Papyrus waits patiently already gotten used to fish lady's shyness. It often takes time for Undyne to say what she wants and needs to say. “Yes?”

 

“...D-do you... Possible still have that device I made you? I-I was... um... thinking what are you going to do with it...?”

 

Papyrus feels like an electric shock was striking him. _How could he forget such an important thing?!_ And furthermore, what is he going to do with it?! _Where did he put it?_

 

The tall skeleton is almost crushing his phone. What if Red finds it? Then... he would know Papyrus has been lying. He would leave. Leave despising the other one, running straight into Grillby's arms -

 

_**He can't let that happen -** _

 

“I'll... call you later, Undyne!” Papyrus shouts before shutting the thing, speeding up almost running. He tries to think that everything is alright. After all, Red hardly steps in his room and Blue -

 

Shit, Blue.

 

_**SHIT. BLUE.** _

 

The small skeleton is sweet, innocent, always behaving nicely... But... He is too curious for his own good sometimes. What his little brother found the device, pressed the button and ended up in that hellhole?

 

Papyrus feels nasty, since it's only now he thinks about his brother and his well being. Red has been consuming his mind so much, _too much._

 

Now the tall skeleton feels bad. He has noticed certain... Changes in Blue. His smile is less bright, he goes later to bed than usual... He seems more tired in general and more bothered.

 

It's probably because he has taken the main role for taking care of Red. No one pushed him to do that, it simply felt like the most natural thing to do because of... _obvious_ reasons.

 

Still, Papyrus feels like he should have been more there. Notice more. These... thoughts are not only slimy and black, but they also blind him, make gray, thick fog wander in his head.

 

He needs to get rid of them...

 

...But... how? Underground is pure, that's the best word describing the place. Every time the human had come with their knife, destroying everything in their path monsters still didn't do anything until it was too late. They still tried to reason with the... _**thing.**_

 

_**They would not get this. Maybe they wouldn't even believe Papyrus.** _

 

Muffet might. There were time when they were very close but just like everyone else, she has turned into dull being without anything new or intriguing to say.

 

Only Red and Blue somehow get him going. Blue, because he is the only one that's left of his family... Yes, he has repeated the same pattern as the rest over and over but he's always so bright and joyful. Sometimes the he managed to accidentally slip some hope in Papyrus's soul.

 

Red... because he has brought something **new.** A confirmation that he is not crazy. A comfort that there are others that know about resets.

 

And... somehow... the resets have stopped the moment Red came. Timeline hasn't reset and for that alone, Papyrus is ready to keep the smaller skeleton here.

 

He needs to get home. To prevent Red to find the device and run away from him like a distant dream. To prevent his little brother – his only brother – to get into something too dangerous by accident.

 

When he's finally there and opens the door, only silence greets him. Papyrus let's out a huge sigh of relieve. Blue isn't here, he's still on his patrol. Stars bless his sense of duty and overwhelming commitment on every single thing he set his mind to.

 

Papyrus rushes to the stairs, half waiting Red to come out of his and Blue's room, asking what he was doing...

 

But of course the small skeleton wouldn't do that... Not after their fight.

 

Finally, _finally_ the tall skeleton is at the safety of his room. He glances the whole space quickly, muttering curses. He's room is a mess, of course it is. Blue has always scolded him, saying he wouldn't find anything in there...

 

For the first time Papyrus admits his little brother being right. And it's nerve wrecking.

 

He starts to rummage through his messy table, throwing all the books and left overs from Muffet to the floor...

 

Nothing. The dusty surface seems to almost laugh at him. Papyrus groans in frustration and attacks the bed next. Nothing, **nothing.**

 

_**For Toriel's sake!** _

 

After searching for his entire room, without finding it, he's soul is pounding and his phalanges are curled into desperate fists.

 

What if... if Red already has it...? He's too afraid to set a foot in his room... Then again, Papyrus has been gone a long time so maybe that would make it easier...

 

The male grits his teeth. Red _**better**_ not have it. ~~_Red better not_ _ **L E A V E**_ _him like this -_~~

 

 _No, no, calm down. This isn't about you, this is about Red._ Stars, he's sick. He can't keep the thoughts away even for a moment can he?

 

Sometimes he wonders if his counterpart was also wrestling with this. If he actually tried to be better person at first -

 

 _I'm not him,_ Papyrus thinks. He has already decided that. He has already made up his mind. He would fight against this.

 

In desperation he peeks under the bed, not letting his hopes up -

 

It's there. _It's actually there._ The small, remote like device is innocently just laying there. Waiting to be picked up.

 

Papyrus does just that. He grabs it quickly like fearing it would escape and he just stares at it. Relief almost knocks him onto his knees and he sits down on the bed, still staring at the thing.

 

Papyrus found it. Now... What to do with it?

 

What he should do – what is the right thing to do – is to call Undyne right now and tell her he found it and then return it...

 

But -

 

What if Papyrus needs this...?

 

The male stares emptily at the wall, not really seeing it. Papyrus _could_ still need the device...

 

_For what? You don't need it. Fell is dead. You don't need it..._

 

Grillby's enraged flame flashes through his mind. Idly he recalls how vulnerable flame monsters could be if they deal with water -

 

Papyrus cringes, feeling so disgusted and dirty. _**WHAT is he thinking?!**_ This... is sick. This isn't like him at all -

 

Quickly, before he enters into that cold terrible state of mind he digs his phone from the pocket picking Undyne's number.

 

“Hi, Papyrus here. Yes, I got the device...”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I must say I'm nervous abt. this chapter. Whether you guys like this or not. I loved writing this but... there's couple things. A ship that I'm gonna keep as a surprise... But it's only hinted. It's super rare though and I'm worried if it comes too randomly...  
>  And this chapter is short compared to the first one. For that I'm sorry. The ending just felt right and I felt like continuing it more would have been forced.

As soon as the phone call ends, Papyrus is out of the house. He just has to get the device out of there before he would change his mind, before the dark, insensible thoughts would start to nibble away his mind.

He hurries to the Riverperson, not looking around him or greet the monsters he comes across. Papyrus feels nasty, like those around him could somehow see what he is, what he has done - Don't be silly, the skeleton tries to calm himself. Still, his soul is pounding restlessly inside his ribs. His breathing is quick and his steps are short, sharp and quick.

He feels like a criminal.

Papyrus doesn't even look at the Riverperson. He just mutters “To the Waterfall”, in hushed, breathy voice and sits down, putting his hand in the pocket. The skeleton is constantly touching the small item like making sure it's still there. (Of course it is. But Papyrus just feels so _paranoid_.)

“Tralalala,” The person starts with oddly cheerful voice. “You can't always do what you want, tralalala.” Papyrus flinches and a quick rush of anger stabs his soul. “Just keep moving,” He growls. The skeleton doesn't need to be reminded how close he is just **_S N A P P I N G_**.

Besides, he's not doing what he wants right now. He's doing the right thing. If it was up to him, he would keep the damn thing – just in case.

~~**...If it was up to him, Red and him would be -** ~~

Papyrus wants to splash some of that icy river water on him. Maybe it could magically make him back to how he used to be.

Finally, they are there and Papyrus jumps off the boat like it was burning him. He doesn't even thank the Riverperson as he hurries, not really looking the sparkling water or the glowing echo flowers and the mushrooms. Many considers this to be the most beautiful area in the Underground... Papyrus, however is not a huge fan of the district.

Their father often brought them here, to train Blue. Papyrus never liked this. It was irresponsible – his little brother has only one hit point after all.

 _“Sans has right to train if he wants to. And I think it's completely understandable – and a good thing – that he wants to learn to defend himself,”_ The star soldier of the Royal Guard, and a father to Papyrus answered his son while polishing his armor calmly. W.D Gaster hadn't seem taken aback by his son frustrated expression.

 _“B-But he could seriously hurt himself!”_ Papyrus had yelled wanting to just make his father understand. Sans had been so small and innocent.

Gaster had sighed patiently as ever. _“Papyrus, I'm there. I'm watching over him, and supervise his every move. And one of my older students – one of my STAR students is there too. Not to mention we both know a lot of healing magic - “_

 _“What does it help if he's going to die after a one hit!”_ Papyrus had yelled out.

 _“Have some more faith in your brother. He has a high level of magic and he can control it amazingly for his age. Not to mention his outstanding accuracy,”_ Gaster had continued and he had taken a sword in his hand, inspecting it. The man hadn't even looked at Papyrus.

It had pissed the child off so much. It's like their father hadn't even cared. _“He's too kind and naive! He can't be a soldier!”_

 _“Kindness... grace... and Mercy... Those make a great soldier. As well as patience and determination. I can see all of them in Sans,”_ Father had smiled softly, kindly. That kind of smile he had never smiled to Papyrus. _“I have solved most of the conflicts simply by talking and negotiating”_

Papyrus had wanted to scream and stomp his foot against the floor like a baby bones. His nerves had just snapped. _“Did you show any of those traits when you took that human girl to the queen?!”_

Gaster had winched like Papyrus had stabbed him straight to the soul. And he had finally **_looked_** at Papyrus with sorrow and shock. _“I've heard that this human just danced and talked to the monsters - “_

 _“Papyrus - “_ Father's voice had shook. The hands had squeezed the sword.

_“I heard that she didn't harm a fly. And now she's dead. You didn't show a mercy, did you?”_

_“Listen - “_

_“Not that I really care about humans - “_

_“You are speaking of things you have no knowledge of - “_

_“But she was still a child wasn't she? Is that the life you want to Sans to have? To murder - “_

**_“ENOUGH!”_** Gaster had finally snapped. Papyrus had tried to keep his poker face even though he had been a bit intimidated by that sudden outburst (the child had forgotten how scary father could be when he was angry)

The male had been full of tension and all the dark emotions had been reflected on his face. Then... he had just... shrunk and sighed. It had been odd, how old this soldier could look.

Gaster had sat down. _“Go... Now... I think your mother needs help in the kitchen. She has probably overworked herself at the Core and is too exhausted to cook by herself._ Later, Papyrus and his mother had gone with Gaster and Blue to see them training and reluctantly the older brother had to admit that father was careful and hadn't taught anything risky.

Arial – their mother and the Royal scientist – had taught Papyrus astronomy with the help of the crystals in the ceiling. The boy hadn't been all too impressed. The crystals hadn't really woken anything in him. And he had found the idea of wishing room to be a bit sappy. (The stars were holy to the monsters, Papyrus had gotten that. But... Could stars really hear their pleas and prayers through the thick layers of rocks and stone walls?)

Papyrus still doesn't think much of this place. He does come here time to time to visit Undyne or simply to have a picnic with Blue. The small skeleton adores the place and it had been kind of a family tradition to do it every year.

His mind works funnily. Papyrus hasn't really thought about his family much...

The skeleton doesn't really know if it's any better than thinking of Red.

When Papyrus is _finally_ there he feels like a heavy weight has been lifted from his shoulder. A house shaped like a fish, looking oddly small for a scientist's house is always so welcoming looking.

The skeleton walks slowly to the door. This is it. All he needs to do is just march there and give the thing away. It seems such a simple thing to do. But to Papyrus it's a proof that he can be better. To do better.

When he knocks the door. He can hear footsteps approaching. The male takes quickly his lazy and relaxed signature smile on his face, Undyne's name on already almost leaving his mouth -

The door is yanked open and Papyrus' smile first freezes and then turns into a soar expression. _Oh, stars, no._

There, looking overly smug and leaning to the door frame is all too familiar robot. His silvery gray hair is styled in a carefully considered messy kind of way and his puffy blue jacked looks ridiculous as always – not to mention his cap that has been turned backwards.

“Yo, dude,” Napstatton greets lifting his hand leisurely.

“Where's Undyne?” Papyrus asks grumpily. He has never really liked this obnoxious musician.

“On the back, watching anime as usual. Dude, hey, I've discovered a rad new sound - “

“Not interested,” the skeleton almost growls as he pushes Napstatton out of the way. The walls of the labs are plastered with all kinds of anime posters but also pictures of obnoxious robot singer, his tongue out and arrogant smile on his face. The posters and pictures clash horrible. Papyrus is not into cutesy, pinkish anime stuff – he prefers those human action movies he finds now and then – but if he had to live here, he would definitely choose that cat-eared girl over Napstatton. _Always._

“So, dude, what's the deal with 'Dyne this time?” The robot asks casually, but disturbing curiosity lighting up his lazy looking eyes.

“That's none of your business,” Papyrus hisses. He just wants this to be over with. Why didn't Undyne wait for him?! He called roughly fifteen minutes ago! And what is that stupid bot doing here _now_ of all times?!

“Hey, bro, that's not very cool,” Napstatton answers seemingly relaxed but his eyes narrowing. “Ya should try 'n chill sometimes. Maybe try my new, rad cola!” _I'd rather drink water from the dump,_ the skeleton thinks bitterly and is about to say this, when he sees a flash of familiar red hair and relieved he turns to look at Undyne who has just arrived from her “nerd cave.” She looks a bit embarrassed as she rubs her neck. “H-hi P-Papyrus, U-um I a-almost forgot about the whole thing. Y-you see, I started to watch t-this new series to pass t-time and just - “

Papyrus sighs. He really can't stay mad at the fish nerd, not really. He knows that the lady has it hard too. “Hey, it's ok,” he reassures and smiles encouragingly.

“A-anyway...” Undyne starts still awkwardly – but more easygoing - “Do you have it? What were you even doing with it - “

 _“Undyne,”_ the skeleton hisses tightly glaring at Napstatton, who's eyeing them both with increasing interest. “This is... _very_ personal business.” He really doesn't want to any outsider know about the small little thing resting harmlessly in his pocket.

“Oh!” the scientist understands right away shooting an apologetic gaze towards the bot. “N-Napstatton, would you mind...? You could... go charge or something...?”

“'Dyne, sis, _c'moooon_ ,” The musician whines like a child just before bed time. “I've seen your science stuff! Especially with this dude!”

“Please, Napstatton... This is... a personal thing,” The fish monster begs the other one. Napstatton huffs and starts slogging away grudgingly hands in his pockets.

“You didn't tell me he's here too,” the skeleton retorts as the bot vanishes into the other room. He tries not to sound too harsh. Undyne looks sheepish.

“Um... Yeah sorry... He just kinda came here all of the sudden... You know how he is...” The scientist mutters. Oh, Papyrus knows. Sometimes he wonders if Undyne ever regrets her creation.

But he's not here to talk about Napstatton. He digs the device from the depths of his pocket. “Here. I don't need it anymore,” He says trying to silence the second thought and doubt in his mind. _Yes you do,_ a voice inside his mind whispers. _Who knows what threats might be there for Red. You need to eliminate them._

Papyrus feel cold shiver run through him but he tries to look casual. Undyne extends her hand to take it -

They hear rapid, metallic footsteps and before neither of them can realize it, Napstatton is there, inspecting the device in his hand.

Papyrus just... stares. Surprisingly, there's no feelings. Yet.

Then he sees Undynes slightly worried expression and it hits. 7

Napstatton is holding the device.

N _apstatton, the most ridiculous, egoistic and irresponsible monster in the Underground is holding the device._

**_THE MOST RIDICULOUS AND IRRESPONSIBLE MONSTER IN THE UNDERGROUND IS HOLDING THE DEVICE TO THE OTHER UNIVERSE._ **

Papyrus feels every bone in his body tense. “Give it back, _now._ ”

“Chill, dude, I just wanna see what'll it do - “

Papyrus has no patient to wait. Adrenaline is singing and his nerves are constantly being tested. He feels almost the same rage as with Fell. He dashes towards the bot, trying desperately to grab the thing. “For **FUCK'S** sake, Napstatton, just give it here! It's not a fucking toy -”

As they wrestle, Undyne is watching from the sidelines, mouth opening and closing as she's trying to say something. Napstatton tries to keep the device out of the skeleton’s reach, he's robotic fingers pressing accidentally random buttons -

A portal is opening. Papyrus can only stare with horror. All three of them just stop and it's like time is slowing down. Napstatton's eyes widens and they look like a pair of plates, staring with reckless fascination. He whistles. _“Radical.”_

The portal finally forms and there, through this wide hole they can see one of the most twisted things Papyrus has ever seen.

It... reminds Papyrus distantly of Napstatton. Except the monster's colors are red, golden and black and his hair is black and styled differently, also there's no that ridiculous cap. The... _thing_ is sitting on the chair, in blinding red dressing room. (Absently Papyrus notices how messy room is, like someone has had a some kind of meltdown or outburst of some sort. Also he notices a large poster which says MTT with giant letters.) The creature has four limbs, one of them is brushing black, smooth looking hair while the other one is holding a mirror. The two other arms are absently stroking his body. Though they are slightly trembling and twitching as if they were caressing a slimy worm. All four eyes are narrowing slightly with hatred at resent as the thing looks itself at the mirror.

 _“Disgusting....”_ It whispers voice full of anger and sorrow. It's maybe cruel, but Papyrus has to agree. Instead, skeleton sees Napstatton flinch and there's a frown between his eyes and only now the skeleton sees the awe in the bots eyes and almost... weird, unnatural softness in his face. An admiration of some sort like the thing wasn't creepy hell's spawn but something unique and beautiful. _The hell...?_

“Yo, dude!” Napstatton calls out. Papyrus curses and tries to grab the device before -

The creature looks at them. All of the four yellow eyes widen an he looks at Napstatton not believing his eyes. The pale bot smirks and winks – _he fucking winks to that thing. -_ “Ya look rad... Or wait up... Ya look fabulous dude!” _Shit, **shit**_! Why isn't Undyne **_doing_** something?! Why is she just staring?! If that monster comes through -

The monster stands up, just staring at Napstatton. He's squeezing the mirror and he's gritting his teeth like he's angry. But Papyrus sees the slight trembling. Napstatton doesn't say anything but he frowns again opening his mouth to say something more -

The skeleton notices that the bot's grip of the device has loosened. Papyrus grabs it, pushing the red button. The portal closes.

A death silence follows. The skeleton feels angry and mad at himself. How could he think this would be a good idea?! Of fucking course, Napstatton would ruin everything! He can't leave this thing here! Who knows what this imbecile robot would do next?!

_(He saw. He saw the universe. If he was to babble about this in his show - )_

_“Woah,”_ Napstatton whispers. “What **_was_** that?!” The magic flames in Papyrus' eye-socket. “That was none of your business,” He says voice ice cold and threatening. _He needs to get the point across. If Red found out -_

“H-hey Papy, dude! Look, I'm sorry. Just chill, eh?” For the first time, the robot seems a bit scared and...

_It feels oh, so **S A T I S F Y I N G**_ **.**

“You are not saying a _word_ about this to anyone, **is that clear**?!” Papyrus is almost growling the words like a starving wolf, stalking his pray. “Red has been through enough already. A word about his home and he's a mess. He's breaking down. Every. Damn. Time Someone mentions that place.“ The skeleton stops his little speech for a moment. “So if I heard that you've been - “

Someone is grabbing his arm. Papyrus looks down and sees Undyne, looking pale and... Scared? Why would -

She look's at him with unsure eyes. _She's looking at him._ She's _scared **OF HIM**_ **.**

“W-we won't... I-I'm terrible sorry Papyrus... I should have... Napstatton has a bad habit of eavesdropping behind that door... I-I should have known I-I....” Undyne looks like she's at the verge of tears. Papyrus feels so unbelievable **bad**. He should have controlled himself _better._

“No Undyne... I – I'm sorry. Look, I know it's a poor excuse but I've been... stressed lately and super worried about Red...” He tries to explain. (At least his words are half true now...)

“T-things are that bad?” The fish monster asks sounding worried. Napstatton glares at him suspiciously but the skeleton tries to ignore it.

“Well... Red... He gets panic attacks really easily when someone's mentions his home... He just... needs time I guess.” Another lie roll from the depths of his mouth. But... He _needs_ to keep Undyne and Napstatton from telling anyone... ~~(To keep them from giving Red an opportunity to leave.)~~

The fish monster hugs him tightly. Papyrus stiffens not sure how to receive the gesture. He has a squirming, unpleasant feeling when he thinks how little he deserve this. Napstatton seems to agree as he scoffs.

“I promise not to say anything! And I-I'm sure Napstatton will too!”

“Yeah, sure whatever,” the robot mutters not sounding really that convincing. But it'll have to do. **_For now_**.

Undyne withdraws from the hug smiling gently. Papyrus tries to answer but it feels so forced and makes him feel like a pathetic, unfunny clown.

The fish monster is... Fragile. Sensitive. Her self-esteem can be blown into the air if there's any left at this point. And Papyrus' _little stunt_ must have upset her – heck, _Napstatton_ looked scared. How terrified it must have been to Undyne?

The skeleton can feel his sins crawling on his back, slimy and mocking. The thoughts has once again won.

Papyrus can only do one thing. He knows he can't really keep it even though it would feel safer. Quickly he shoves the device to Undyne. “Here uh... Keep it safe... And don't let anyone touch it and... don't tell anyone... Please...”

He has to get out of there. He wants to escape _again_.

The skeleton mutters a halfhearted goodbye and marches out of the door.

Papyrus roams around the waterfall not really seeing anything, the events replaying in his head over and over again.

He has to control this. He has to _learn to control it._

 _At least you were able to do it. At least you managed to do the right thing,_ he tries to comfort himself.

...But whenever he does one good thing, it feels like somehow he manages to do a hundred things wrong.

Eventually, Papyrus stops by the stream. He looks at the water eyes empty. As he listens the soft whispers of echo flowers and the almost happy gurgle of the stream, he thinks of his father and ponders how different _he_ was.

Always gentle.

Always righteous.

Always doing the right thing.

Papyrus can almost hear his deep voice echoing in the Waterfall. _“I'm so disappointed in you, Papyrus,”_ It seems to come from the water, from the flowers... And Papyrus listens.

_“...So disappointed....”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo... yeh, there... *sweats* I'm actually unsure whether it's "Napstatton" Or "Napstabot"  
> Also yeh, RG!Gaster... who is swapped with his wife, Arial, who is OC who is actually Royal guard in Underfell...  
> *sweats more*  
> EDIT: I edited a little bit of that mettaton scene. Not much but simply made it clearer :'D Also... I'm so thirsty for US!Napstatton/UF!Mettaton right now.... but... I don't think this ship is a thing?

**Author's Note:**

> soooo.... My second week at uni is half-way through... I was so stressed during the first week :'D 
> 
> But I recently started to watch steven universe... i love that series and it helped. I am at second season ^^ 
> 
> I love Lapis... and when I saw her and Jasper interract at the end of season 1 I couldn't help but thing about UF!Paps and UF!Sans.... and because of that... I kinda ship them in some twisted ways (I'VE EVEN STARTED TO IMAGINE UF!PAP TALK IN JASPER'S VOICE AND I CAN'T UNDO IT T___T SEND HELP)


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